Last night in Olifants

November 16, 0608

Olifants

Been an eventful night. 

Took a late afternoon drive yesterday without photographing much.  Best shot was a young, male hyena who walked parallel to the road, but it’s stressful you know trying to drive and pull cameras out and set up and keep track of the hyena and then deal with other vehicles who want to know why you’re slowing down…. Then the moment is lost, and you have nothing but the taste of defeat and a mouthful of profanities for tourists.

On the way back, we went up to the overlook across from the turnoff to go to Olifants.  You climb, maybe a half mile, up this winding road to an overlook, which is one of the places in the Park where you can legally ‘alight’ from your vehicle – at your own risk of course.  Gina and I were up there with another vehicle with a middle-aged South African couple, watching the sunset. This location was where I had my first interaction with vervets. On my very first day in the Park in 2009, I stopped here and got out of my car to take in the view.  I heard someone shout, “They’re in your car!” and turned around to see a couple of vervets rummaging around in my car, because I’d left the window down. I ran to the car and the vervet effortlessly exited on the opposite side with the bag of almonds that I had just bought.  He ran up into a small tree, not 10 feet away, and opened the package and began eating almonds right in front of me.  That was my lesson, and my opportunity to learn that if you lock your shit up, there will be no problem with vervets.  

So, this South African couple were out, looking at the sunset and taking photos when a mother vervet, baby on her chest, appeared out of nowhere and made a run for the door. The man yelled and was quick enough to beat the mother to the door, while kicking gravel at her.  She behaved pretty aggressively and kind of challenged the guy.  Now keep in mind that vervets weigh about as much as a large house cat, but they can be kind of fierce.  I don’t know how often anyone actually gets bitten by vervets (my guess is that it’s very rare) but I’m pretty sure it would ruin your day and send you to a clinic outside of the Park.  The wife was busy cooing at the mother and taking video while the man stomped around, looking mad.  I didn’t actually see her feed the vervets (others had arrived – turns out they were lounging quietly just a few feet away) but I saw the vervets scrambling, picking up something on the ground, while wife video’d away.  Gina and I were getting into the car to leave when I saw angry man walk over to the driver’s side door and pull out a slingshot. Seriously, another damned slingshot. What is it with grown men and slingshots?  Park won’t let them have firearms, so they want the biggest weapon they can get their hands on to deal with these little vervets?  What a dick, and what mixed messages for the vervets – wifey feeding, cooing and videotaping while Jungle Jim is ready to lay the beasts down….  I’d had enough and so drove off, roiling in self-righteousness and expressing myself loudly to Gina, who was after all stuck in the car with me.  We went rolling downhill, not speeding, but not paying a lot of attention to anything except diagnosing all that’s wrong with the human condition.  Then we bumped right into a HUGE elephant bull, minding his own business.  I was surprised, and used very short, one syllable words.  He was surprised too.  By the time I’d collected my wits and could really appreciate him, I could see that he was also collecting his wits and wondering why he should put up with this crap. I could actually see him thinking that, so we scooted.  It was a reminder to not get so distracted in judging others that we miss opportunities (and threats) right in front of us.  As we drove, Gina was saying, “Stop, take a picture” (No) and I could see this massive old man stride across the road.  And the little devil side of my brain created a fantasy where angry slingshot man bumps into the same elephant, who’s significantly more irritated now, and ends up upside down on the hillside somewhere.  In spite of what Gina says, I will never be a saint.

Had a nice dinner on the deck of the restaurant overlooking the Olifants River, then bed early with the plan to get up at 0330, take an early morning drive and then back here to pack up and move on to Orpen for our last night in the Park. Heard lions way off in the distance.

But… at 0145 this morning the car alarm went off.  Man, nothing makes your adrenalin peak like a freaking car alarm parked right outside of your bungalow on a dead quiet, dead dark night.  Especially when you’re deep, deep in sleep. I was dreaming about something, but of course immediately had the dream pushed out by the sound of the alarm and then need to attend to that. I was probably dreaming that I was a genius trying to solve the problem of global warming, but we’ll never know now. Anyway, by the time I had lights on and was trying to find shorts, the alarm stopped and reset.  Crap.  So, grabbed head light and climbed the stairs and walked around to see nothing, glad that I didn’t have me for a neighbor.  I don’t know what was up – it was breezy but not like a windstorm and there was nothing stirring at all. Turns out that a car alarm went off in some camp we were in last but quickly turned off and we assumed, with great self-righteous judgement, that one of our neighbors messed up.  Now, I think a different story emerges….

With that drama, it was really hard to go back to sleep and I think I’d just started to drift off when the alarm went off at 0330. I made an executive decision to shut off the alarm and go back to sleep (trust me, Gina didn’t mind).  I decided that, rather than spend our last morning bouncing around rough, dusty roads, we’d take advantage of the beautiful view that we had to book a year in advance and just stay in and watch the morning unfold.  And dozed off, waking with some awareness that the sign was rising, and the francolin were calling at the beginning of the dawn chorus.  Then I heard something tug at the screen door.  So, our bungalow here is a circular concrete building, maybe 18 feet in diameter with small cut outs for a toilet/shower and for a sink. The front door opens onto a porch, overlooking the river, which has some built in cabinets, a sink and table and two chairs (where Gina and I are sitting now).  The front door has a screen door and a locking solid door, but because it’s so hot here, we just sleep with the screen door open. There’s a sliding lock on the door, but it doesn’t work. 

Every camp solves the monkey problem in a different way.  Vervets and baboons know how to open refrigerators, and they know what refrigerators are for (and we think we’re so damned great).  In many camps, refrigerators are outside, on the porch, but protected by a metal cage. In some cases (like Letaba), you actually have to position the refrigerator in way so that the door can’t be opened.  In other camps, like Orpen, they just move the refrigerator into the living area.

So, laying in bed, barely conscious of the first golden light and the calling of francolins, we hear a couple of tugs at the screen door.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see the door open slightly and something that seemed like a large, black dog come inside (it’s funny how your brain processes), heading straight to the refrigerator.  Then I saw an arm reach up to open the door.  In that instant, both Gina and I shot upright and blurted out ferocious animal noises – like, “Get outa here!  Why I oughta…!  Let me at ‘em!” and it was gone. With a moment to process, we realized that it was a freaking baboon and that he was trying to stealthily get into the bank where we keep the food.  Now, vervets are fierce, but baboons are a whole different level.  We just sat there and laughed.  THAT was finally the alarm clock that got us moving. 

And now the sun is higher and it’s clear and hazy and you can just tell that it’s going to be a stinking hot day.  This is our last day in the Park.  We drive today to Orpen, spend the night, and then head to Eastgate Airport in Hoedspruit tomorrow morning to drop off the car, catch the shuttle back to Jo’burg, sleep for a few hours, and then catch a 0200 flight to Nairobi to begin the next chapter.  I’m hoping and expecting that the next chapter will be better photographically.  I’ve not really gotten anywhere so far.  But it beats working.